


You

by kyunssimp



Category: ONF (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Hallonfween, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Past Relationship(s), halloween party, hyojoon implied, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:07:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27320941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyunssimp/pseuds/kyunssimp
Summary: Minkyun had lost his star, his hope, his happiness, and without him he was nothing. The party was something of a distraction, to keep his mind off of the love he had lost, and it was almost working until that star came barreling back into his life just a moment too soon.
Relationships: Mizuguchi Yuto | U/Park Minkyun | MK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23
Collections: Hallonfween 2020





	You

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist! :
> 
> I Fall in Love Too Easily by Chet Baker   
> Be My Mistake by The 1975   
> None by Crush  
> Fall by Crush  
> Love Theme by The 1975   
> Friend A  
> Almost Blue by Chet Baker

_ there he is. _

_ there he shines brightest.  _

_ there everything seems inviting. _

_ but minkyun knows. he knows that he will never reach the Star again. the more he reaches, the more the light begins to dwindle. he wants to touch once more but it’s clear that he has no ownership over the star. the realization pulls the strings in his chest tight. he knows, but wishes he didn’t.  _

_ this lonely Star _

_ shining so bright _

_ is no longer  _

_ minkyun’s. _

the liquid finds its way down into minkyun’s stomach. he invites it to scorch his throat. he is ready for the sting, welcoming it even. others would consider it painful. he finds it warm. warm from reality. warm from the bullshit. warm from the sight in front of him. 

the sight is more painful than any little sip of alcohol could be. he could have alcohol whenever he wanted. what he could control did not pain him. whether it burned or bled or scraped, he did not mind inflicting it on himself. only when he could not control it did he feel a part of himself shatter, limbs growing stiff. he could not retrieve what he desired. it devoured every corner of his soul to the point of no repair. only one thing, one person, holds the title of his eater. the eater going by the name Yuto. Yuto devours his hope. his confidence. and there Yuto stands, hungry for a meal. minkyun’s eyes glaze over as he glances at Him.

it wasn’t hard for minkyun to spot Him. fuck, he had been waiting all night to see him. the bite of his own flesh was all that Minkyun awaited. now that it is here he can suffer in his desired way.

a chug after another leaves minkyun with an empty cup and no distractions. his eyes trace the group of glistening bodies standing before him. vague dancing. no real enjoyment. the type of movement that is done to pass time, enjoyment not being a priority. he expects it. seungjun was known well enough to hold a party at his place, especially one for halloween. 

one look to minkyun’s right reveals a classmate. an outfit stained in red and blue. hair with the same hue. the idea, so outdated he thinks. he hopes the building contains a green haired villain, purple as his second color. one that could sweep the harley that walks before him. he sighs. turns to the left. hyojin stands there, a friend of his that seungjun was keen on conversing with. hyojin grins while covered in red. matching horns perched on his crown. it makes him wonder. seungjun probably centered his costume around hyojin’s. the contrast of seungjun’s angelic outfit connected the pair. not enough though. for it does not amuse minkyun.

the other outfits are reasonable. he wonders if his should have been the same. his eyes droop heavily. grazing over the lace detail of the skirt he wore. round and stiff skirts were never his type, but the ethereal look he had planned this year came with wings that he did not expect. the wings. beautiful really. but they failed to give minkyun the dainty appearance he sought after. he searched around before landing on something different. it was not the typical fairy, but the name sugar plum drew him in. the association with candy had fooled him. yet again.

the tutu moves nicely. with every step. he can not help but watch. the fabric gently bobbing up and down as he walks. bobbing now as he treads towards the kitchen. the refill of his cup waiting to gulp it down. the world around him starts to encircle him. his vision getting distorted. he finds comfort in seeing nothing. as he walks. walks to keep the distortion alive. alive with another glass of the liquid. he hums. content with the effect. it helps as he walks, trying to find somewhere. somewhere to sit possibly. 

he moves through the crowd. pushing past bodies. he does not know where he is going, but he does not care to find out. a chair appears. one he does not see. one that causes damage. accidentally jamming his toe into it. he enjoys the pain. it numbs. he can no longer feel a sting. his toe could have broken, but he prefers to not know if he is injured. he walks, toe pulsing with stimulation. he presses it deeper with each step simply enjoying. he turns, making his way to the stairs. atop there is a door. presumably to a bathroom. it is hard to feel the pressure. for every sensation has no feeling. but he knows he at least needs to go pee. with so many drinks, he thinks not otherwise. 

_ knock. _

no answer.

_ knock. knock. _

silence. 

minkyun makes his way. twisting the handle. awaiting to see what is on the other side.

a silhouette appears. it’s Beautiful. Delicate. Familiar. minkyun knows the silhouette like the back of his hand. It’s...Yuto. minkyun believes Yuto is speaking to him. It’s hard to make out the sounds coming from him though. he presumes that Yuto is yelling at him for walking into a preoccupied bathroom. It’s all a haze to minkyun really. Instead he just looks the man in front of him up and down. The costume Yuto wore fit snugly around his well-shaped hips, being rather revealing. He wore a dazzling coat, fit for the prince that he was. It was coupled with something minkyun would never expect. 

“Are you wearing pants?” minkyun wishes it wasn’t the first thing to come from his mouth having not seen Yuto for years. But he chose to not think straight and he has to deal with that consequence.

“Uhh technically no?…” he shifted uncomfortably at minkyun’s stare. 

Yuto’s voice is the same as it was before. minkyun concentrates his ears on the melancholy string of syllables. his mind pays attention to the resonance of Yuto’s voice, a few words escaping into the air. his eyes follow every twitch of Yuto’s lips, admiring the way they slide together. The curve to them is mesmerizing and minkyun wouldn’t dare break his concentration. he remembers their softness, their plumpness, their energy. It chips away at the remnants of his soul, thinking of the past. Would they be the same? he wonders. he wishes he could know them once more.

he understands the general gist of Yuto’s statement to be that he was wearing tights. It clicks in his head that Yuto had started training in ballet when they last talked. he assumes the costume was a stage outfit. he is able to focus on the last sentence of Yuto’s anecdote.

“So yeah. Why buy a new outfit when I could just be the cavelier. Y’know..” Yuto’s sentence ends in a pathetic crack, but it’s enough for the back of minkyun’s eyes to sting.

Did minkyun know? he cares not to find out, eyes still glued to Yuto on the verge of giving in.

“Minkyun?”

It hurts.

For once tonight, he feels pain, but he can’t ignore it. Yuto is eating him but he loves it so. he remembers the night Yuto had last uttered the syllables of his name to him. The night where they no longer had any connection. The night where he had given up trying to feel anything. 

his own name burns like never before. However, he’d be a fool to say he doesn’t like the sensation. 

“Minkyun are you okay? Do you need help?”

minkyun’s eyes drop, dragging directionless across the carpet he stands on. he refuses to cry. Not like this.

“I like your costume. I don’t know if you noticed, but our characters are from the same ballet. We have a duet together towards the end,” Yuto nervously chuckles. His eyes shift as he awkwardly flushes the toilet to wash his hands.

_ What about You is beautiful? _

minkyun can’t understand.

With all of the damage Yuto has caused him, why was he compelled to come back every time? Why was it enough for him even though it tortured his being? he wants to change. he hates how he’s still affected but Yuto lives free. he wishes to turn it all back around, but there is no chance for him. he knows this will forever be the most he can get.

“Ummm I think we should head back to the party…you’ve been lost in thought for awhile. Let’s get you sitting somewhere that isn’t a bathroom, hm?” Yuto reaches his arm up, grazing against minkyun’s side before tenderly grabbing minkyun’s palm.

minkyun glances to his fingers, then to Yuto staring into the deep holes of sight in his head. Maybe he can see Yuto’s soul if he tries hard enough. he sets his sights in full concentration, unmoving. he just needs to keep looking, pay attention. Just a little longer, he thinks, unconscious of his eye level changing. his vision is blurry, unclear as he cascades down to the beautiful carpet, limbs ceasing to work. 

he feels tugging at his legs and arms. Yuto’s voice drowns his ears with concern.

“For fuck’s sake Minkyun! How much did you drink?”

minkyun thinks he’s had just enough alcohol for tonight.

Amongst the younger’s struggle minkyun attempts to get back on his feet. he is able to stand but isn’t supported enough to walk. Yuto’s arm finds itself around his waist guiding him to the nearest bedroom. He hears the click of the door unlocking as Yuto looks around to see if there’s anyone inside. He drags Minkyun in and closes the door, locking it out of habit. He then turns on the closest lamp before concluding that the older needs rest. He steps to lead minkyun to a bed, but his actions are halted as Minkyun goes before him, sandwiching him between a body and the door.

There’s a moment of clarity as they stand. It allows minkyun to press closer to Yuto, leaning his forehead onto the younger’s. Yuto looks up at him with those god awful innocent eyes while fumbling to keep the tutu folded down. The eyes that trap him and tear him apart are asking him. he just needs to answer.

  
  
  


“ _ You. _ ”

  
  
  


Yuto struggles to find the oxygen in his lungs but minkyun can hear every gasp. he can hear every fight to let words escape.

“Why do i still love _You_?”

“Minkyun...I think you’ve had too much to drin-”

“ _ You _ ...are no longer mine,” he chokes, held captive by reality. 

minkyun looks down at him. The concern from earlier skyrockets in Yuto’s face.

“Do You remember the day? I’m sure it passes by through your mind sometimes…The day i became your mistake. That day lives in my mind on repeat every second, every hour, everyday of my life. Dream or reality, i circulated in hell trying to forget what happened, trying to forget You. But fuck i- i really tried. For months, i found myself curled up under my bed. i spent nights falling apart just wishing i could escape to sleep. When i lost You...i thought back.

“Time spent with You was fun, with memories i didn’t know we would make. Remember? Re…remember? When i first said i loved You? Back when i believed we’d last? Back when we did everything together? Back when…shit. i don’t even know why I’m even reminiscing about this…

“The more i look at You the colder the air feels. Like i’ve been showered in freezer burned ice. We pass by day after day, week after week, month after fucking month and for fuck’s sake Yuto, it hurts. One second You were mine and then suddenly You weren’t. Why are we avoiding each other? Why are we cautious…saying things for the sake of trying to preserve the ‘friendship’? Well it’s bullshit ‘cause guess what…i’m in pain…i’m crushing under the weight of my own thoughts. It twists me, turns me, tears me apart every time i’m lucky enough to overhear You saying ‘hi’. You don’t need to protect me. i’m- just…

“i just never stopped missing You. 

“i never stopped loving You.

“i never stopped wanting to touch You again.

“i never stopped thinking of kissing You one. more. time. 

“i know I’m worthless Yuto. i know i deserve nothing. i know it all. i’m the scum of scum and You deserve better. 

“i have to ask though. Will You accept my worthlessness once more? Will You take my pathetic-ness once more? 

“i’m nothing compared to You. 

“But...will You let me in?”

“Kyun…” Yuto reaches a hand up gently grazing the hairs of minkyun’s cheek. The subtlety of it throws minkyun off as he closes his eyes instinctively at Yuto’s touch. They start to sting with tears while he chokes on dry sobs, whispering something he didn’t expect to come out of him tonight.

“Will  _ You _ …let  _ Me _ ?” 

  
  


For a moment he remains unmoving, before suddenly opening his eyes, glossed over by tears. There’s a crack in his pathetic question. It twists the inside of his stomach to even ask for something that he knows he doesn’t deserve. Oh god, he can feel the eagerness clawing from him, the desperation and hurt making themselves known. he’s bearing his all, looking at Yuto for a sign. Any indication. he swears his relief sinks as Yuto slowly nods.

They stare, sorrow pressing at the brim of their eyelids. Finally they connect, rigid sighs escaping into their cheekbones.

It’s soft as it blooms into minkyun’s chest, driving away his fatigue. 

The memories flood.

he remembers when they first shared a moment like this. he remembers the blinding ice on the ground along with the bare trees during the coldest months. However, they were unaffected by the chill for they had their layers, each other, and a streetlamp that loomed above them.

This time, there is no streetlamp, no snow, and frankly not many layers between them. But their warmth expands, sending minkyun the energy that he has missed so much. 

his nulling high is beginning to wear off as he uses his hands to focus on Yuto. On his presence. On the curve of his lips. On the warmth of his cheeks. On the noticeably elegant curve of his lower back. Especially on the rounded curve of the younger’s ass.

The touch pulls a noise from Yuto, one that brings minkyun back to the reality of what was happening. Yuto had accepted him. He feels himself ascend onto cloud nine, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

He can sense Yuto’s hands on his chest, palms seeping into his skin with their heat. He knows his chest will be blazing red tomorrow morning. But now is between them and nothing else. He endures in hope that Yuto continues to view him as worthy.

Minkyun pulls, tugs, grasps, for any part of Yuto that he can collide with himself. He mindlessly grinds up into Yuto and the push is strong. Strong enough to pull Yuto up into the door with the mere force of his hips. The new vantage point excites Yuto as he tries to wrap his legs around Minkyun’s defined waist. Tries but fails due to the neglected tutu darting from Minkyun’s hips.

The pads of Minkyun’s fingers find their way into the side of Yuto’s hips, digging holes into his flesh as he’s lifted and placed on top of the tutu. The move is sudden, frightening for Yuto as he is lifted. His legs fly up to wrap around Minkyun’s waist in fear of falling down despite Minkyun still clawing to the sides of Yuto’s thighs.

It makes Minkyun smile for the first time in years. A smile that he remembers brought joy to Yuto’s face and still does as Yuto quietly giggles in Minkyun’s arms. It takes no time until his giggles are swallowed up as Minkyun places himself at the base of Yuto’s neck.

First, Minkyun kisses, butterflies gently fluttering on the surface of Yuto’s skin, before the warm wetness of his tongue protrudes out into Yuto’s nerve. Yuto’s hands grace Minkyun's shoulders, holding on for dear life fearing he would be dragged into the depths of Minkyun’s inner soul. 

Minkyun nudges his cheek at the steaming comfort of Yuto’s neck. He brushes slightly, basking in the burns. Even as he has Yuto in his arms, closing in on his sides as he leads the kiss, Yuto still has full authority over him. Every part of Yuto breaks him in one way or another. Whether it be the burns of his skin or the crescent moons Yuto is leaving in his shoulder blades. He knows he’s physically in pain, but it won’t stop him. It can’t. He craves the pain, as long as it means Yuto is with him. As long as his hope isn’t utterly destroyed, he yearns for Yuto to continue damaging him. 

He finally breaks loose for a moment, getting the courage to sink the daggers of his mouth into the tender spot of Yuto’s neck. Yuto lets go of a quiet yelp at the feeling. Minkyun orchestrates, sliding across the crook of Yuto’s neck. He plays the instrument wrapped around him, like the saxophone he used to have as a kid. Every sound he pulls from Yuto’s mouth produces a score, music to Minkyun’s ears that marks their time together. The whimpers, a symphony of sound guiding his movements. The harmony pushes him, edges him to continue making a beautiful form of art through Yuto. As beautiful as the presence exuding from a stage of performers. A stage that Yuto is well acquainted with. A loved stage that Minkyun has become for Yuto. There is only a pause in the music as Yuto throws his head back, access to his neck changing as well.

The weight of Minkyun’s chest is railing into Yuto, pressing them closer with the door as an aiding force. He feels their chest colliding, afraid that they will break. But his fear doesn’t surpass his desire to make Yuto his. 

Minkyun sees an opening, a road, a pathway to slide along Yuto’s neck to the dangling lobe of his left ear. He drives, trekking each spot with a slight drag of his teeth, up to the edge of Yuto’s ear. The tips are red, a clear sign of a fluster. He folds them within his mouth, grabbing with his teeth and sucking on the sensitive skin. His tongue rolls, grazing the skin between his teeth, cooling the heated parts. The coolness feels minty against Yuto’s scarlet skin. The feeling amplifies as Minkyun begins to blow on the dripping parts, earning a needy whimper- one that shakes through Yuto and finds its way into Minkyun’s mind. It calls for a response that Minkyun spills forth in the form of a low moan. The vibration echoes into Yuto’s ear going straight through his body, curving out an arch in his back and inviting an unconscious buck of his hips into Minkyun’s waist.

Yuto feels disoriented, his eyes faltering as they flutter shut. He almost rolls them back as the breath escaping Minkyun’s nose invades the air between them. He swears he can feel Minkyun’s lips, anticipating what next they have to offer him.

“I want more…will you give me more?”

Yuto’s bottom lip recedes in between his teeth. His eyes flutter close as he feels the frantic push and pull of his nodding head. The nape of his neck stretches, expanding as his head moves up and down. The stretch releases the tension, as does the warm crackle of Minkyun’s palm. Small sounds escape through the cracks of his lips revealing his desperation. He takes the leap off of the tutu, feet finally being reacquainted with the floor. He feels grounded again. But in a new form. He moves through the space, aware of the connections he has. Through the air he can feel friction across his fingertips. The sensation travels up his arm, expanding across his chest. He calms down his beating heart as he feels the connection of his toes as they sink into the quicksand of the carpeted floor. It’s no surprise that he feels the air brushed across his hand as Minkyun steps closer. 

Minkyun clasps loosely onto Yuto’s wrists, ready to lead Yuto to the awaiting mattress. However, he feels the slight prod of lace from the tutu on the sides of his forearms. He decides there is no need to be constrained by the trap any longer. He stops Yuto in their tracks, letting go to escape his costume. His legs slip out, free at last from the glowing outfit. Admittedly the air was cold, however the breeze felt tranquil, clear, and open. It’s a feeling he hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting in a long time. 

He’s left in a tank top and stereotypical ballet tights. Despite the ridiculous nature of him wearing true dance clothes, Minkyun believes it to be the most liberating feeling. 

Minkyun leads Yuto to the bed that calls out to his scarcely clouded mind. The bed frame creaks at the new weight placed upon it. He sits, head bowing into his lap. His hand runs across the creases within the blanket, as he occasionally scissors it through his fingers. 

It’s not the same as before. It’s nowhere near the same as the blanket that they had first shared. The spaced out knit of this blanket is ice cold unlike the warmth of Yuto’s old quilt. The warmth created by the heavy fabric and their bodies pressed together. Minkyun finds himself, drowning in the weight of his emotions. They cloud the little space left in his mind, thundering and striking as he remembers the past. He winces at his thoughts, hoping they choose to dissipate out of his mind.

The familiar sting comes back, threatening to turn his eyes red and moist. They stop in their tracks as the flesh of Yuto’s palm lays on Minkyun’s shoulder. Minkyun feels compelled to lift his head up to the boy that hovers above him, eyes masked in his tears. He begs, eyes glaring into Yuto’s looking for permission. Yuto shifts his knee into the bed creating a dent. He slides into Minkyun’s lap, his neglected throne, eyes fixated on the tear that escapes Minkyun’s eye. 

Against Minkyun’s cheek, Yuto’s thumb rubs the tear into his skin. The thought to move his hand away does not cross his mind. But at this point, nothing crosses Yuto’s mind aside from the senior in front of him, prettily begging for more through his tears.

Minkyun wraps his own fingers around the hands that gently caress his face. His eyes stare back into Yuto’s. Minkyun pries for knowledge behind the lenses of the younger. Yuto’s eyes glimmer, gray and empty. The emotions within them are void, giving them an ethereally scary appearance. Minkyun catches the glimpse of his own eyes in the reflection. His own eyes, sparkle, lust and sorrow mixed with the love he had failed to suppress. 

Minkyun is blatantly eager to close the gap between them. Eager to share their newest breath and passion. Eager enough to connect their foreheads. Yuto is so perfectly in reach. So much so that Minkyun surges forth, inviting a new link between their lips.

It’s different than earlier. The sorrowness of their nature instantly comes forth as their intimacy grows. It’s an intimacy that has Minkyun confident in himself for once. He believes he belongs right here with Yuto. Once again, he is unreluctant to dig the pads of his fingers into the dents that he had made earlier. He pulls Yuto into himself, rocking their hips together.

Yuto chases the feeling, releasing all the sounds breaking to escape out of his fragile body. His hands grasp at Minkyun’s hair in an attempt to ground himself. Minkyun echoes the sounds spilling into his mouth. He detaches, throwing his head back and groaning at the thought of all the possibilities that could stem from here.

Minkyun’s fingers feather at the hem of Yuto’s jacket pleading that he may take it off. Yuto nods as he grabs the hem, taking his white undershirt along with it. Both items of clothing are quickly discarded. Minkyun stares at the skin in front of him, noticing each breath as Yuto’s ribs expand. Another image flashes across his mind, one that he grew to be fond of. His fingers find their way to smooth flesh, dragging downwards with slight pressure. He can hear a quiet hiss escaping Yuto’s teeth. He hovers closer, the driving heat of yuto’s chest calling him to touch. And touch he does, with his bottom lip. He’s quick to glide his tongue over the sensitive nipples, tasting the skin.

It’s been a while since they’ve done this. Yuto doesn’t want to believe that he misses this so much. However, he is quick to contradict himself as his voice turns into nothing but desperate whimpers. His head hangs forward, nose poking into the side of Minkyun’s neck. His mind is empty with no other thoughts than those of the man underneath him. His brain rages, a single name riding across- Minkyun.

An overwhelming wave of emotions flood over Yuto, a feeling of bliss setting over him. The feeling intensifies as the tips of Minkyun’s fingers ghost over his growing hard on. Minkyun wastes no time in flattening his palm against the bulge, causing Yuto to strain a whine louder than he had wanted it to be. There’s a hitch in his throat as his voice hiccups into the sound. 

Minkyun replays every sound leaving Yuto in his head. His imagination is prancing with all the possibilities ahead of them- all of the things they could be from here until late. The thoughts rage through his body, flowing through his blood and into his length. Their tights leave nothing up to the imagination as Yuto is swiftly aware of the hardness pressing against his thigh. 

Minkyun sways his thumb side to side, catching the head of Yuto’s erection with every swing.

He pauses and brings his index finger to rest atop the bulge, with the pad of his thumb stably in front of the head. He applies slight pressure pulling a needy yelp from the younger. He continues down the shaft, dragging his nails painfully slow against the fabric that clothed Yuto. 

The stimulation plays games with Yuto’s head as the world spins in front of him. He digs his head deeper into Minkyun’s shoulder and he shuts his eyes. He opens his mouth, a dry spell with no words spilling forth. The only thing he is able to let out are dry sobs as Minkyun continues touching.

Minkyun can sense the effect he currently holds over Yuto. It feels right. They’re finally together and he couldn’t ask for more. He turns to place a loving kiss on Yuto’s cheek. He halts as he feels a wet substance on his shoulder. He pulls Yuto out of his shoulder revealing a tear stained face. Yuto’s body goes limp with no intention to touch minkyun again, his head hanging down with tears falling from his eyes. 

Minkyun reaches, shakily holding Yuto’s jaw upright to look at him. His lips open, concern dripping in his breath alone. A squeak passes by before Yuto cuts him off.

“No.”

The word rings through Minkyun’s ears as his arm drops.

“What do you mea-”

“Minkyun, no.”

Minkyun feels his muscles grow stiff.

“Minkyun. Do you even remember why we broke up? You talk about all the good times…but have you really forgotten why we don’t work?” Yuto raises his head to stare back at Minkyun, tears coating his long eyelashes.

“Wow, you’re really going to act like it didn’t happen…? Minkyun you were a mistake. A mistake I could’ve easily avoided and I was naive enough to stay with you as long as did. But I finally realized why we were never good together. 

“You’re scum, Kyun. Beautiful, scum. We both know it. And yet…and yet you never once tried to change. When I needed you most…you didn’t change. Not even for me. And I know. I know it too well that I can’t change you. I can’t force you to do anything. But damn it, Kyun. I really thought that maybe...just maybe, you could’ve at least pretended to care.

“I wanted you to care so damn much. And when you didn’t…,” Yuto feels his throat closing, unable to convey the words he wished to say to Minkyun. Tears flooded his face as he audibly sobs. 

Minkyun sits, feeling the guilt build in his chest. His arm finds its way to Yuto’s upper back, pulling the younger back into his shoulder. 

“Minkyun. God, I love you so fucking much. Why did you do this to me? Why?” Yuto wets Minkyun’s shoulder as he hangs limp in the other’s arms. 

They sit, engulfed by their guilt and sorrow. Minkyun knows. He knows that they don’t work. He knows that he’s dragging Yuto into misery. Damn it, he knows how awful he is. Yuto shouldn’t have to suffer like this.

Yuto sits up finally after a few minutes, wiping his face with his forearms and avoiding Minkyun’s eyes. 

“I have to go.” Yuto stumbles out of Minkyun’s lap, crouching to the floor to obtain his discarded clothing. 

“You’re leaving? Just like that?”

Yuto weakly smiles at him, “Should I stay?”

Minkyun drops his gaze, a smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. “No. Leave me while you can.” Yuto nods acknowledging where they stand. He rises to his feet, trudging towards the doorway before Minkyun calls out to him. 

“Yuto.” He hums in response for Minkyun to continue. “Why did you nod when I asked you to accept me?”

Yuto racks his brain for a moment in order to find an explanation. 

“Because I understood.” Yuto unlocks the door, stepping out into its frame before turning back to look at Minkyun.

“You said it yourself, Kyun. I was yours and then suddenly I wasn’t. We felt unfinished…I let you finish things.

“I know what it’s like to be in love but miss the touch. I gave you that touch for the last time. A goodbye if you will. I probably should have told you beforehand…I’m really sorry.”

Minkyun shakes his head with his eyes focused on the blanket once again, “It’s okay. But wow…I didn’t think you’d be the type to finish things so quickly.” 

Yuto laughed at his remark before calling out to him. Minkyun connects to Yuto’s gaze, with no response. He listens to what the younger has to say.

“I love you.”

Yuto’s voice drips with content as he closes his eyes, breathing in with a small smile on his lips. He exhales walking past the door frame and into the rest of the house.

Minkyun stares at the empty frame. He forces a smile on his lips as he repeats Yuto’s words in his mind. His eyes sting once again. Red, Hot, moist. the lamp illuminates. casting a glow onto minkyun’s face. onto the tears that adorn it. his chest unravels. stress subsiding momentarily. it hurts. but he accepts it. his mouth opens.

“I love you too.”

he stays in his seat. he can hear his friends calling for him. they sound worried, but there is no reason to be. he understands. he is content. the possibilities of the future await him past the door. and so he watches where Yuto no longer exists. right there. it is there.

_ there he left. _

_ there he no longer shined bright.  _

_ there everything seemed uninviting. _

_ but minkyun knew. he knew that he would never reach the star again. the more he reached, the more the light began to dwindle. he wanted to touch once more but it’s clear that he had no ownership over the star. the realization pulled the strings in his chest tight. he knew, but he wished he didn’t.  _

_ the lonely star _

_ shining no more _

_ will never be _

_ minkyun’s. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! This is my first ever fic within this fandom and I'm glad I was able to finish it. This month went by fast but Happy Halloween to you all! (event though it's technically not Halloween anymore but whatever). Once again, thank you! xx <3
> 
> Also! HUGEEE shoutout to everyone that helped me write and edit this down to the last minute. I love you all so much :( xx


End file.
